The Big 5-0
Thursday, September 4, 2014 at 09:43AM
Mary Note Law

Well, I did it. I turned 50.

For most of my life, it seemed to me that 50 was a mile-mark into old age. This must be some collective consciousness thing I picked up because, just as my father was shocked to experience thirty years before I did, I received my official invitation to join the AARP that morning! At least I remembered Dad's shocker and was prepared! But I'm happy to report that today, the second day of my second half-century, I feel like the same kid I was two days ago. I celebrate the Love that surrounds me and life is sweet. I wish I could boast of my athletic accomplishments but quite frankly I had nothing to boast of at thirty, or twenty, or even ten, either. Numbers must be old news for me because I do find that I'm not as good at math as I once was; I think it's lack of practice and so I consider that a good thing~ a sign that I've let go of something once drilled into me that no longer serves me. So here I sit, happy and immersed in Love, and wondering what my next adventure will be.

An awareness that came to me at thirty, and again at forty, returned once more today. I'm still me. Life is the same~ changing every day but there is no drastic jump into seniority at 50, despite the AARP's indication otherwise. At each of these milemarks, I realized that I have the most important things in life~ those that matter the most to me. Life has been a series of cycles, each one with its inherent joys and sorrows, and it is indeed rich. I have realized some dreams, released others, and gone some routes that have supplanted and surpassed the ones I'd previously dreamed of. I put in years of prep work to create a career in academia, having studies with the superstars in my field who also became more family than faculty, only to leave that career in its infancy when I listened to my heart imploring me to stay home with my children. In that role I've had days of great Joy, days of great tedium, days of celebration and days of frustrating clashing of wills. Today I celebrate the magnificent humans that these three incredible Beings have become. Maybe they'd be the same had I made a different choice, but I know that I wouldn't. I'm grateful for that incredibly fleeting time together, and for the husband who supported my decision and Loved me regardless of what his preference might have been.

Over the years I've witnessed Loved Ones suffering through extended illnesses, felt helpless to fix them, and learned many a lesson via journeys through the Valleys of Darkness. I've received the phone calls that left me with life one way in one moment, and a new way in the next. I've explored my Faith and kept what felt true to me and finally given myself permission to release the rest. I've found that any time that I turn to God, in pleading, desperate petition, in affirmative declaration, in awestruck adoration, and even in venting fury and frustration, I am heard, Loved, and answered with Love. 

Overall, the painting that emerges is perfect~ an impressionistic canvas dabbled with all of the colors of life. Looking up close, the brustrokes of Joy and sorrow, laughter and heartache, loneliness and belonging can all be seen. But standing back to behold the Whole, a beautiful blend emerges. This Journey, in its Wholeness, is one of Joy and Blessings, Beauty and Sunshine. As I gaze into its welcoming colors, I feel saturated in Love and I AM Grateful. So deeply grateful. If there is anything that I can do to continue to enhance this scene as the years ahead unfold, it is to keep blending in the colors of Love. From this my riches, my Joyful Journey, springs. Thank you to each one of you who contributes your own beautiful brushstrokes to the canvas of my life. May you realize the richness of your own Creations. May you feel the Blessings of your Incredible Journeys. May you continue to add and to see the strokes of Love that comprise your experience upon this Earth. And when you step back and behold the Wholeness of the Portrait that is your life, may you be awestruck by the beauty that you have created. Namaste. 

With Much Love,

Mary

Article originally appeared on Shine: Mary Note Law (http://www.shinemeditations.com/).
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