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Entries in love (3)

Friday
Feb142014

Healing Valentine's Day

It's Valentine's Day; do you feel the Love? Today is a day for experiencing...
Pain? Resentment? Unworthiness?

Wow~ I saw some painful posts on Facebook yesterday as folks were snowed in and had time to ruminate on this holiday of Love.  

I get it. I used to dread this holiday. It began in my childhood, when classroom Valentine's parties served as annual popularity polls. I have been trying to remember whether one teacher truly did teach us a lesson on averages by asking each child to report how many Valentines he or she received, or if it simply felt so publicly humiliating that my memory has embellished itself. Unlike today's classrooms where kids are asked to bring Valentines for each classmate, in my day we were free to choose those peers to whom we would bestow our heart-shaped blessings, and, by default, those whom we would reject. I was shy, pigeon toed, and far from poised. I used to pull down the class average, squirming in shame at my small stack as the kids on either side of me counted out their validations, "Valentine, I'm stuck on you!" "Friends Forever," and the quintissential David Cassidy saying, "I think I Love you, Valentine!" 

In high school, I had yet to hit my stride and exude a molecule of self-confidence. Each year some group would hold a fund-raiser in which students bought roses to send to classmates-- close friends, boyfriends, or girlfriends. I used to cringe walking through those corridors sans roses, while other girls had overflowing bouquets in their arms. Through those teen, and later young adult years, I rarely had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day. I felt slapped by the expectation to be coupled up by this annual occasion, and through each one that I faced solo I was keenly aware that I had "no one to Love." Even when I was dating, the childhood scars raced to the surface, and I refused to buy into the cultural hype of this "holiday." It wasn't a holiday to me; I was angry with this day, the one that had caused me so much suffering.

And then along came Jim Law. He was a sweet boyfriend, and wanted to celebrate Valentine's Day with me. Another girl might have appreciated that, but I had my armor on and sneered at the offensiveness of this "artificial holiday." It's funny; yesterday on Facebook I read statements that echoed statements I've made in those days, such as, "It's an artificial holiday created by a card company to make money," and "it's just an excuse to charge triple the price of roses-- don't get me roses on Valentine's Day!" I hurled these arguments at Jim, along with venting about the childhood popularity contests, the ones I had always lost. 

I can remember Jim's sparkling smile as he held my hand and crooned, "Valentine's Day is supposed to be Happyyyyyyyyyy! It's about saying I Love you!"

Jim had grown up in a family that embraced Valentine's Day. Every February 14, from birth until our first married Valentine's Day, he would wake in the morning to read a new Lovepoem that his mother had written just for him. So, by the way, would his six sisters and brothers. Each of those kids headed off to school buoyed on a puffy little heart of Love. No wonder he Loved the day.

Once we were married, Jim fully expected that he would awaken on Valentine's Day morning greeted by a poem written by yours truly. His expectation did not diminish when I explained that I am not his mother; in fact, he stated that he certainly hoped I would continue this tradition not only for himself, but for all of our future children as well! So, after I disappointed him that first February 14 of our married life, I resentfully sat down write him a poem. Once I got into the spirit of the task, I rather enjoyed myself! I penned a happy little verse and transferred it to a heart-shaped slip of paper. For some reason, he never asked me for another. Here is that poem:

Oh there's a boy named Jim
He makes my blood cells swim!

If you'd see him on the street
You'd say, "Gosh! That Jimbo's really neat!"

All the girls would Love him
If they only only could,

Cause Jim's the sort that's coveted
By the likes of Hollywood!

But Jimbo's mine and mine alone
So keep your hands off, girly girls.

If I ever catch you in my home,
I'll shoot you in your dirty rears!

You may detect by the somewhat caustic quality of this verse that I had yet to heal from my childhood scars! But Jim did slowly turn me around. Every year, he shopped for special gifts to give not only to me, but to each of our kids on Valentine's morning. If their mother would not rise to the poetry occasion, he was going to make sure that someone was making them feel Loved! As I've softened to this practice over the years, I've come to deLight in sharing in the hunt with him for something small but special for each child. My kids look forward to hopping out of bed on Valentine's morning to see what their parents have done to greet them with an extra dollop of Love. Sometimes I have even stayed up late the night before, crafting something special for each one.

Seeing Valentine's Day as a day to joyfully express to those I Love that I truly Love them, that I am grateful for them in my life, has changed everything that I feel on this beautiful, celebratory day. Where I once took the day as an annual demonstration of my failure to acquire Love, I now see that it is an annual opportunity to put a happy exclamation point on my expressions of Love. Instead of longing for validation from others around me, I have shifted my focus to celebrate the Love that is in my life, and to share my Love with those dearest to me. Doing so is a gift that I give myself, my own little "I Love you." This shift has transformed a once painful day to one of great happiness. 

I have often heard the case against Valentine's Day, that we should express Love every day rather than reserve it for a single day each year. Absolutely! But how deLightful to have a day to pause, acknowledge Love, and celebrate it in our lives. I remember once reading a channeled message by Linda Dillon*, in which we are told that the Angels thrill on this day because it is the only one in our Calendars which is dedicated to Love. How wise our Angelic friends are. The gift of this day is invaluable. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! May you bask in the blessings of all those you Love, and may you enjoy your myriad opportunities to express the Love that you feel for yourself, for others, and for all that you hold dear. 

*Linda Dillon: www.counciloflove.org

Thursday
Feb282013

From Fear To Love

This article was written on 12-22-12. Its message is timeless.

Good Morning,

It is 12-22-12. I am awake, witnessing the First Dawn of the New Dawn-- the start of a new cycle in time in which the energies of the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine are brought into balance and harmony through the Earthplane. This begins with an increase in the feminine.

This morning as I lay in meditation, I found my awareness drifting to many expressions of fear upon the planet-- greed, to the point of hoarding; political parties bent upon distributing resources among a small representation of the people: landowners decimating prisitine forests in pursuit of small vials of gold dust; female cirucumcision; bullying; oppression of many forms and throughout many parts of the world. And then I was shown, rising up from the hearts of each one of these "perpetrators," bubbles of fear. Fears of running out, of being left behind, of being overpowered... many many fears, each one an indication of the absence of awareness of our Oneness with Love, with One another, and with infinite abundance and well-Being.

With each group which I perceived, I witnessed bubbles which covered the earth and cast their dark shadows over the planet. I was shown three ways in which we may be of service to Love and ease these fears for others. First, I was given a net in which to gather these fear bubbles-- the weave of the net was of a sparkling, pink Light-- the Sacred Feminine, the nurturant, comforting, holding Mother energy of the Divine. With this net I scooped up these fear bubbles. I was reminded of the Law of Attraction, in which fear is really just the flip side of a desire. Those with a fear of lack have a desire for security. Those who fear oppression have a desire for inner peace. Those who fear isolation have a desire for unity. With the pink net, I was energetically eliminating fears by giving each soul what it truly desired, and this was represented in the form of a Dove flying free from each bubble as it bumped up against the net of Pink Light. Where fear once cast a long shadow a Dove now soared joyously.

Next with my arms I scooped up more fears and brought them into a filter of Love-- my own Sacred Heart, already attuned and aligned with the One Heart. As I brought these fears into my heart, I allowed myself to feel only Love. And with this came the third method showed to me. I began to cradle these fears in my arms, and as I did so they revealed their true indentity-- beautiful, frightened infants, whom I held tenderly and rocked and kissed, witnessing as they became peaceful, feeling absolute Love and adoration for these beautiful little beings, seeing them in all their beauty and wholeness. As they became soothed of fear, these precious infants settled into peaceful sleep. Swaddled in Love, I laid them down to sleep and picked up the next raging fear. The tenderness I felt for each precious inant gave me a beautiful sense of anticipation as I soothed the next fear, and the process of healing, through the simple administration of Love, became rapid.

Last night I had the honor of joining my Soul Sister, Kathy Milano, as she guided a group of Lightworkers to Dream the Future for our children, and for the next seven generations. As I allowed Love to heal fear this morning, I realized that every single thing that I dream for these seven generations of my own babies is right there, waiting to be visible once we have cleared our world of its configurations of fear. I am ready; I am willing, to do the work. I am grateful that it is so very easy for each one of us to do!

Recently Kathy asked me to paint some lettering on the walls at Soul Sanctuary. A myrial of questions encircle the room: "Who am I? Why am I here? How do I heal the world..." There are many questions. There is only one answer. Large letters in the center of the long wall read: "Love is the Answer." It is such a simple truth: Whatever the question, Love is the Answer. We begin in our hearts; we follow the action steps which Love guides us toward, and we bring our dreams to life. Fear is just a bubble-- it cannot stop Love and when met with Love it breathes a huge sigh of relief and becomes all that it forgot it could be. When others are steeped in fear, we can meet them with Love and provide the energy that they need to illuminate the shadows, that all may live in Peace, Love, Harmony, Vibrant Health and Abundant Well-Being. Thank you for living in your heart-- it is invaluable not only for yourself, but for All, as we are All One.

 

 

Sunday
Jul152012

PS: I Love You

I love you.  Three little words. What does it mean to hear these words, to read them on a card written out to you? Do you feel warm inside? Has your heart been activated? Has your vibration lifted? Let's change the language just a little: "Love you!" How about, "Love ya!" Is there a shift in your receipt of these words? It still feels nice, even happy, but does it warm you? Do you feel deeply loved? How much higher has your vibration soared?

I was challenged with this comparison as a coed when an assertiveness coach asked me if it was hard for me to say, "I love you." Was it? Not to my parents and siblings, grandparents, an occaisional boyfriend. But how about to others whom I truly did love, like my closest girlfriends, those with whom I bared my soul on a daily basis? What did I tell them as I hugged them goodbye at the end of the day? "Love you!"

I answered my coach that I thought the two terms meant the same thing, to which she replied, "Try it. Own your statements. Own your emotions." "Okay," I shrugged, confident of the ease in the slight adjustment of language.

Later that night, hangout time! And then, what did I say as I hugged my pals goodnight? "Love you!" Not because I'd spoken out of habit, but because suddenly, the ability to form that one simple vowel, "I", caused my heart to first freeze and then to pound wildly in panic, and then to scream a stop order at me to cease and desist this instant! Wow! What a shock! It was hard to take ownership of Love-- what would my friends think? Would I weird them out? Would I scare them away? Did I truly love them? Yes, I believe that I did. But did I trust them enough with my heart to tell them that so completely? No. I did not. I did not trust our culture-- whose mores reverberated a message of danger at the failure to keep one's heart under wraps-- it was not safe to truly claim, out loud and for another's ears to hear, the truth of my heart.

For a while, I played it safe with "Love You". But I was struck by the contrast-- the ease of saying, "Love You!" compared to the great difficulty, but also the tremendous truth, in actually saying, "I Love You." Eventually, the contrast became glaring, and I realized that as I was throwing "Love You's" around with ease, my heart was aching with my own betrayal, with the withholding of the extent of the the Love which I longed to share.

Then began my journey of spiritual exploration. This road that I have traveled with the Angels and with many great teachers, both physical and etheric, has repeatedly driven home a core lesson: We are here to Love. We are here to remember ourselves as Love, to Love ourselves, to Love one another, to Love the All. Withholding Love no longer works for me. I cannot hope to be a messenger, a radiator, of Love (as each of us is in our own way) and withhold from honestly claiming my truth by hiding from those three little words, "I Love You."

And so somewhere along this magnificent, mystical journey I began to be honest with people. If I love you, I tell you so. Would you like to know how people react? Mostly, with Love in return! Often, first with surprise, even shock that I have uttered this secret truth, then with joy and an honest burst of, "I Love You, too!" Sometimes, I have a feeling that a person will not be comfortable in receiving this truth; yet still, I must be honest. I can handle such discomfort-- the downward glances, the shuffling feet. Perhaps, at some other time, these recipients will sit with the message and allow themselves to receive the Love. And I have seen what happens when the truth of Love is acknowledged-- it grows. We know enough about energy to know that when we make changes in our own consciousness, in our own hearts, we change the collective. We raise ourselves steadily to the vibration of Love every time we acknowledge it-- first to ourselves, and then to one another. And when another joins in with us in the recognition of Love, the energy is amplified all the more-- the collective vibration is further attuned to Love's great thrum. I love you. Three simple words. One act of courage. Boundless rewards. Go for it!

P.S. I Love YOU!!!